The Notebook

I am thoroughly convinced that every mother, whether she unschools or homeschools or sends her kids to school outside the home, should have a working household management notebook. This notebook can act as a casual journal for recording the day's progress (in Indiana, we are required to keep attendance records), or keeping a record of all the adorable things your children say, or it can contain sections for managing lists--everything from meals to letter-writing/gift giving to housekeeping to personal goals of reading, etc. It is an indispensable tool. Some links to various options for the notebook can be found here, and here, and here. While I don't agree with everything said on many of these blogs, you can't fault conservatives for their organizational skills!

Scheduling

One of the primary hurdles I have faced in the past as an unschooling mother has to do with time management. It is difficult to manage the routines/rhythms of five individual people who are so distinct from one another in absolutely everything and who function consistently on entirely different planes. In years past, I have worried (like most mothers) that I was slighting one child as I gave another what she needed, or that I had not followed through on a tangent or simple request made in a busier portion of the day. For example, Madeline asked me last week if I would show her how to sew. A few years ago, I might have worried that I had been too lackadaisical in my mothering as time passed and I somehow never got around to her special request.

But with more than a decade of home education under my proverbial belt, I have learned how to manage my time in such a way which allows my family freedom of direction and simultaneous reasonable, but not rigid, consistency. Here is a portion of what I have learned:

1. Set aside a period of each week for scheduling/planning with your family. It is the most important thing you can do. It will work best if everyone involved is present. Remember that your planning session is meant to direct (not dictate) your week.

2. Fill in the things you have to do first (dental appointments, dance classes, etc.) and then go from there.

3. Have each person make a list of all the things they would like to tackle throughout the week, or for smaller children, make a list of activities you hope to engage them in, and then start to plug these wishes into the available times you have left in the week. Don't forget to include acts of kindness you never get around to, movies you've been meaning to see, field trips you've had in the back of your mind for years, etc...

4. Whatever you do, be reasonable! You should only tackle a few new things each week and/or one new thing each day. Also, keep in mind that there is only one of you, and if you're planning on one-on-one time with one child, don't fill that block of time with new activities which will need your input with your other child/children.

5. If something comes up, and your schedule becomes completely moot for the day, let it go. The entire purpose of writing it down is to be able to see which things you didn't get to and tack them on to next week's to do list. In this way, you can relax in the knowledge that you will eventually get to everything.

6. Don't front-load the week. Mondays are challenging in our home, so we do fun things first (library time and fun outings, etc.) and build momentum as the week progresses. In the same manner, don't front-load your day, especially if you are not a morning person.

7. Save old schedules in a three-ring binder. This way you can keep up with all that you do accomplish, and when people ask what you do all day, you can smile serenely :) (This is also one healthy, low-key method of keeping attendance records, which are required in Indiana.)

Not Back To School Camp, Vermont 2009!

She had such a great time! What a great idea! Check out their website by clicking here.

Social Justice as the Focus

I have come to believe in my ten years experience of homeschooling/unschooling, that the central component of any curriculum should be a call to kindness. To instill our children with an implacable urge to help others--to social justice, should be our primary focus. Nothing is more important, not math and certainly not grammar. In fact, the value of math and grammar as well as other traditional educational pursuits, should be directly linked to accomplishing the pursuit of service to others. If my daughter becomes a writer, I hope her work will enrich the world by calling to attention the gross inequities of gender, class, and race within her culture. If she becomes a homeschooling mother, the same lessons can be taught to her children. If my son becomes a scientist (as I believe he plans to do), his work should be reflective of concern and respect for the natural world in which he lives. Everything done must be done with conscience. This can be one marked difference between (and one argument for) home education over traditional formal education.

Of course, raising children who believe in their ability to effect the world around them has nothing to do with fear. In fact, fear will disable them, render them helpless (at least within their own minds) to change the world around them. Unfortunately, much of the literature, film, and television which might increase their moral consciousness is simultaneously terrifying for children (and adults).

So, how do you raise your children to have a heart for the earth and its inhabitants, while at the same time instilling a sense of peace and tranquility within them? I've compiled a list of activities and books which have worked for us. Of course, this list is just the beginning, but it's a good beginning:

1. There is no substitute for spending time outside in a quiet, peaceful setting every single day that the weather allows. When my family becomes lax in this area, we also become miserable and selfish. Also, I would recommend that you spend the time outside with your children as well. While it is tempting to send them outside in order to have some quiet time or get some work done, don't do it! Walk with them in the woods or in your local park. It will do everyone so much good, and the rest of your intellectual efforts will reflect the benefits of time outside as well.

2. Do yoga with them (especially on days when you cannot get outside). There are some wonderful books about yoga with children which can be very helpful and inspiring. My personal favorites include: Storytime Yoga: Teaching Yoga to Children Through Story by Sydney Solis, Children's Book of Yoga: Games & Exercises Mimic Plants & Animals & Objects by Thia Luby, and Child's Garden of Yoga by Baba Hari Dass. There are so many other great books out there as well, but these are especially good ones.

3. Model the kind of heart you want to see in your children. If they hear you judging others for ridiculous reasons (or for any), and see you for the majority of your time with a scowl on your face, they will do the same. Likewise, if they never see you working in your community to effect change (no matter how small), they will never have a model to follow--they won't see such behavior as a routine part of their lives. Something as simple as remembering to send birthday cards and letters to loved ones can go a very long way in instilling a sense of communal responsibility in your children.

4. Read to them-- beautiful books about the world they live in. Some of my favorites which are profound AND encouraging include: anything by Elsa Beskow, Appalachia: The Voices of Sleeping Birds by Cynthia Rylant and Barry Moser, The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes and Louis Slobodkin, and any children's books by Toni Morrison. Everyday Acts Against Racism: Raising Children in a Multiracial World by Maureen Reddy is one good resource for incorporating inclusive activities and language into your everyday lives.

Finally, I would caution you about jumping in with two feet and volunteering for any and every service-related activity you can find. Remember that home is an important component of home education, and that while it is good to explore the world with your children, it is not good to overextend yourself or them.

From A.S. Neill:

People are always saying to me, "But how will your free children ever adapt themselves to the drudgery of life?" I hope that these free children will be pioneers in abolishing the drudgery of life.

She'll make you an offer you can't refuse...

Ve-ddy In-teresting...

To read an article about unschooling as feminist resistance to the mainstream, click here.